The Adventures of David Bowie and Major Tom the Adorable Fox

This is another short story I did for the same creative writing class.It was supposed to be a fable, but it morphed into this weird story about David Bowie and a fox.Please to enjoy.




The Adventures of David Bowie and Major Tom the Adorable Fox
By Daniel Gauer (as told to him by David Bowie*)
*Not Really

One day David Bowie was walking through the forest. He was on his Ziggy Stardust tour when he stumbled upon an adorable fox. He looked at the fox and said, “Hello my name is David Bowie. I am a funky rock star. What is your name Mr. Fox?”
The fox gave David Bowie a strange look and then said, “My name is Major Tom.”
David Bowie looked surprised that the fox had actually responded. He assumed that the fox couldn’t talk, but he was pleasantly surprised when it did. David Bowie thought he would use the fox to his advantage. He decided to take the fox to his tour bus. Major Tom was excited. He had never been on an official rock icons tour bus. There was a brief period when Major Tom had hung out with Gary Glitter, but he felt like David Bowie was more influential in the long run.
David Bowie took Major Tom on tour with him. They traveled all across Europe and Asia and even parts of Canada. Major Tom was excited to visit all of the interesting countries. He especially liked Canada for their tasty maple syrup and hockey. Major Tom was living a good life. He really liked David Bowie, but he did have a problem with him. During his stage shows, David Bowie would bring Major Tom out on stage to help him perform “Space Oddity.” The fox frequently messed up the lyrics he read off of sheet of paper. This would not have been a problem if Major Tom could read. Although he was a fox who had been given the power of speech, he could not read and had a terrible memory for things like songs.
David Bowie would give Major Tom the lyrics every night and try to teach him how to read. David Bowie was a terrible teacher though and couldn’t figure out how to teach Major Tom to read. David Bowie would look at him and say things like, “You need to make some ch-ch-changes in the way you learn. I can’t teach you how to read Major Tom. Maybe you should call a jean genie to grant you the wish of literacy. I am tired of teaching you because you are nothing, but a stupid fox.”
Major Tom was quite upset with David Bowie after that. He hated the way David Bowie treated him. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t read. Just because he was a fox with the power of speech didn’t automatically give him the ability to read. David Bowie continued to mistreat Major Tom. Major Tom decided to show David Bowie how he felt. The fox came up with a plan to teach David Bowie a lesson. He would write a song in his native fox language, which was hard to understand for those who couldn’t speak it, and then make David Bowie sing it. When David Bowie couldn’t read it, Major Tom would yell at him and cause David Bowie to realize how he felt.
Major Tom set out to work writing a song about things that a fox likes. He wrote about eating rabbits and living in holes and listening to NPR. Major Tom finished the song and went to David Bowie with it. David Bowie took a look at the paper and said, “What is this funky mess you have scribbled on this paper?”
Major Tom looked David Bowie straight in the eye and said, “Why this is a song I have written in my native fox tongue. I can teach you how to read it so you can learn it. It will be a great hit if you record it. You will make so much money you won’t know what to do with it.”
David Bowie was intrigued. He was not sure if Major Tom was telling the truth though because the paper looked like it was just scribbled on with a pencil and covered in spit and bite marks. David Bowie decided to give Major Tom the benefit of the doubt. He would let Major Tom teach him how to read fox. Major Tom was excited how well his plan was going. Pretty soon David Bowie would learn what it felt like to be mocked for not being able to read.
David Bowie sat down with Major Tom on his tour bus and began his lesson. David Bowie had a hard time reading what Major Tom had written. Frankly it was just a bunch of illegible squiggles, but Major Tom made David Bowie sit on the bus until he mastered the words. David Bowie couldn’t do it. “I’m sorry man; I just can’t read this freaky writing. Can foxes even use pencils?” David Bowie asked with a look of puzzlement and frustration on his face. Major Tom looked up at David Bowie and started to yell. David Bowie got very upset and started to cry.
“Now you know how I feel every time you yell at me for not being able to read your stupid words,” said Major Tom.
“I am so sorry Major Tom. I should have treated you the way I would like to be treated. That was very unfunky of me and I apologize,” David Bowie said in a meaningful voice. Major Tom accepted his apology and they remained friends for the rest of their lives. Major Tom didn’t tour with David Bowie after that night. He went on to perform with Parliament Funkadelic and became best friends with Bootsy Collins and George Clinton.
David Bowie learned an important lesson from Major Tom that day and from then on has been a wonderfully kind man. Major Tom showed him that we all need to treat each other with respect. Major Tom also showed him that foxes can’t use pencils, but that message was slightly less important.
THE END.